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I feel different tonight

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I tend to spot differences or changes in myself, and tonight there are a lot of differences.

I feel happy, even to the point of spontaneous laughter. I feel confident. Tonight at the grocery store, around people, I could walk among them, look at them, smile, and speak up, normally (not softly, timidly).

The other difference is that I don't feel mixed feelings about my mother. It's nice not to have to feel bad about simultaneously loving and hating her. I don't feel love or hate. Perhaps that's a problem, but for now I'm celebrating the freedom of not feeling torn or confused.

I know I'm not well, but I feel better. Euphoria. So, tonight, I'm simply celebrating and enjoying the good feelings.

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